My Internship with Niche Marketing Group

First, I would like to apologize for not posting anything for like 2 weeks. I have been really busy with "school" and my internship, which I will now tell you about. I am an Events Assistant for Niche Marketing Group. In case you are wondering how this relates to my major, PR and Advertising, I will tell you. I am interested in PR, but more specifically the events part of it. I'd rather be on site at events than sitting in an office writing press releases basically. So, that is why I chose this internship, because I get to go around Sydney to different locations to help with events. So far I have worked four days and I am working every day this week. It has been fun, but I surprisingly want more responsibilities. I don't do much of anything when I work besides help set up fashion shows, put clothes on hangers and dress models. Sure it's easy work, but I don't feel trusted with anything important. I want to get the most out of this experience, so hopefully the more I work the more I'll get to do. I also wish I was getting paid, because Australians make over $20 an hour. Rediculous I know. Must be nice...

Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

Seeing Chelsea Handler live was always a dream of mine, but being able to see her in Australia made it twice as awesome and probably twice as funny. I felt like I got a lot of her jokes faster, being an American, than the Aussies did, because I was laughing out loud the entire time. Let's just say there was a lot of racism involved, which always cracks me up. As I have already noted, there are LOTS of asians in Australia. I was actually told that this country might be over 50% asian. That can't be true, but they are everywhere. In America we are used to seeing a lot more blacks than slits, and here there are NO black people. Chelsea was upset by this..."Where are all the black people? I'm used to having a lot of black people in the audience and I like that because they think EVERYTHING's funny. Now i'm worried because there aren't any here...The best is at book signings when they tell me to write their name and they tell me its "Damiracle." Black people just think they can make up names like one time some girl had a 4 in her name. You can't just put a fucking number in the middle of your name. Imagine having sex with someone that had a number for a name. You'd be like "Give it to me 50."" I DIED when she said this reference to hooking up with 50 cent. The Australians laughed too but they just thought she was just making a joke, I don't think they understood the joke behind the joke. She went on to tell a story about Chuy doing a porno back in the day and when her ex boyfriend found out about it he was pretty pissed. Her response to this anger was, "HE"S A MEXICAN MIDGET, WHAT ELSE IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO?" I fucking love chuy and later he came out on a motorized chair and slapped Chelsea's ass. A lot of the jokes she made were from her last book, because the show was part of the book tour. For example she talked about "The feeling," meaning her learning to masterbate at a very young age and loving it. She acted it out on stage for a good 10 minutes. My favorite parts of the show was when she talked about hating when people have kids who shouldn't and of course when she made fun of the asians. During the show, I found out that she absolutely hates Angelina Jolie, and that she has had 3 abortions. She told the audience that she takes the morning after pill every morning, even when she hasn't had sex...While being racist, she tried to say she wasn't, bc she didn't say "you smell like an egg roll," or "you have straight pubic hair." This was all highly offensive i'm sure to the Asians in the crowd, but I LOVED it. She is my idol for sure and I am going to see her again, whether it's in Chicago, Missouri or LA.

Mardi Gras Sydney Style

In America, Mardi Gras is all about beads, boobs and blacking out. In Australia, it's about Gay pride. I was happy with this difference in cultures because although I love celebrating Mardi Gras at home, no one knows how to have more fun than the gay community of Sydney. Another big difference was that the parade was at night rather than in the morning like it is at home. We arrived about half an hour before it started to try and get a good place to see all of the participants. I was surrounded by a lot of Asians of course and it smelled like bad chinese. I squeezed as far as possible to the front but this tall broad in front of me kept hitting me in the face with her pointy pony tail. I wanted to throw some bows in her face but I didn't want to cause a scene...or did I? Anyways, we probably only watched half of the parade because it got pretty repetitive. There was a lot of rainbow and a lot of skin showing. It was pretty entertaining, especially the large man on the motorized scooter. When we were done with the parade we went to a few different bars/clubs. I ended up staying out later than most, which wasn't a good idea. The girls I stayed out with wanted to rage until like 5 AM because that is when the trains start going again. I was smart and decided to explore the bus schedule for once. I got home around 3:30 which is a good three hours before I would have gotten home if I were to wait for the train. I was happy with my decision to say the least.

Mamma's Gone, Party's On

Sorry I have not written in about a week now, but I have been really busy going to the beach and drinking. My mom left on Monday, and now I have a lot of free time to do things that affect my health in a negative way. On Thursday I went to Bondi Beach, which is one of the prettiest beaches in Sydney. It is also one of the most crowded for this reason. It was my first time at the beach since I have been here, because every other time my friends went, I was out of town with my mom or at surf camp. On Thursday night, Christine, Hannah and I went out at Kings Cross to meet up with Christine's friend from high school. He had an internship here for 2 months and it was his last night to go out. Kings Cross is known as a seedy area of Sydney. It is the red light district of Australia and there are lots of bars and clubs to go to as well. We went to a place called World Bar, where the most popular thing to drink is concoctions out of teapots. There is a board with around 20 different things you can put in your teapot, and then the bartender gives you shot glasses to drink out of. There is a rule that you can't drink from the spout of the teapot or you will be asked to leave. Christine broke this rule very quickly, but luckily she was only given a warning haha. We drank about 5 teapots while we were there plus other drinks. It was a good night. We left the bar around 3 AM and decided we needed some drunk food. We got these big slices of pizza and devoured them within minutes. We were somehow still hungry and found ourselves heading to Mcdonalds. This is where shit got nasty. We sat down at a table with leftover food on it and Christine and Hannah started eating the leftovers...Christine finished SOMEONE ELSE's burger. Basically she was a homeless person digging through a dumpster. I wanted to vom on her. Hannah ate some leftover fries, which is still kind of gross but not as bad as eating a leftover burger. I, on the other hand, spent $10 on a 10 piece chicken nugget with fries. Yes, even McDs is more expensive here. The night should have ended here, but it didn't. The trains don't start running again till around 5 AM and we didn't want to wait. We made the mistake of getting in a car with a strange and drunk old man that said he would take us home. He stopped at a gas station and started filling up his tires with air. This gave us the impression that he was gonna drive us half way across Australia so we booked it. He also tried to give us a joint, but we were pretty sure it was laced. D.A.R.E. taught us well. Finally, we got in a cab and told the driver we couldn't spend more than $50 on our ride home. He agreed to get us there and we made it back home safe and sound around 5 in the morning. It was quite the night. Surprisingly I wasn't that hungover Friday morning, but I did get sick later in the day. I think it was food poisoning, because I yacked 3 times. I have never felt so neaseous. Today is a new day and it's MARDI GRAS! I will tell you how that goes tomorrow...